Sunday, January 1, 2017

She Said Goodbye to All That

What exactly is all that?

It is the worries and ramblings of her mind, the fear that she won't accomplish what's needed within its time, that people are somehow less of themselves because of her own decline in communication and validation, showing up to give them what they think they need of her.

It is the weight of New Year's Eves passed--that one driving through the country to Alan's house in particular. It came of the heels of Christmas 2011, a celebration all shot through with pain and wonder, a miracle nightmare of grace. Thinking of this makes her realize just how much the years blur together. Their passing feels like one long storm--all at once familiar, steady, destructive and fruitful, a dynamic act of nature uprooting as it nourishes, fragmenting the light into rainbows, reshaping the land.

The way to say goodbye to all that is to hold it gently until it lets itself go.

She drinks peppermint tea from the mug she bought at the Labor Day reunion event two years ago, and she reads from a new magazine, Taproot, which she will soon gift to her friend, Echo, a woman who asks for nothing other than to be met with kindness when their paths cross--if after years, or lifetimes. On the morning she bought the mug, Echo was breaking down camp in the forest. Men and children asleep, the sunshine rose with the women who sat together for a moment, sharing stories, seeing themselves in each other.

More of this would be nice, she thinks, as she says goodbye to all that. 

A Note: This post is the last installment in the She is Three series, a years long writing project which its founders have decided has served its purpose, at least for now. It has been a pleasure to participate, & I make this post with wishes of a happy new year for everyone involved with While this is my last She is Three post, it also doubles as my first post in a NEW series called My Mighty Month. For each month of 2017, the online wellness community The Mighty will invite its members to participate in a daily challenge. January 2017's challenge is to write something every day. I am thankful for so much, including this interesting twist of fate.

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